Nato Welch ([info]natowelch) wrote,
@ 2007-01-28 02:00:00
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Entry tags:disclaimer, lj

General Disclaimer
I reserve the right to have folks I don't like (or that don't like me) on my "friends" list. Being on my friends list doesn't make you my friend, it means I want to read your journal. In corollary, not being on my friends list does not mean you aren't my friend. Don't ask to be "unfriended", and don't ask me to unfriend anyone else. Also note that I have no control over those I am a "friend of", as being on someone else's friends list may simply mean that they also, just want to read my journal. I thoroughly reject the spoon-fed semantics suggested by Livejournal's architects in favor the actual (quite) useful functionality they offer. Finding other uses for technologies aside from that originally intended by the authors is called hacking. I like that.


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[info]abracas
2007-01-28 01:45 am UTC (link)
"I ask them to give me a good reason why I should remove them from my list"???

Because they asked you should be good enough...way to show lack of respect!!

if someone decides they don't want to friend you or be friended by you shouldn't expressing that be enough of a reason to leave them alone...yeah, sure you can always go and read the public entries but by showing a complete and utter lack of concern or respect for their feelings and wishes you all but guarantee no chance of any kind of friendship with that person and reveal yourself to be way more concerned with yourself than is needed...

and on that note, Nato...I'm gonna ask you again to grow up and respect my wishes on this as well...

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[info]natowelch
2007-01-28 02:39 am UTC (link)
I you have nothing better to do than to continue making demands about what people you don't like read, then I don't see how I'm the one who needs to grow up.

If you don't think my disclaimer isn't directed at people who don't claim to be my friends (like yourself), then who do you think it is for?

That said, if there's some chance we could be (actual) friends again, I'll certainly consider it. I'm not into burning bridges. I had no idea this had gotten personal, and I'm sorry that I hurt you, however that may have happened.

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[info]abracas
2007-01-28 04:42 am UTC (link)
This isn't personal..

Look...you can bookmark whatever you want, read any publicly accessible page online you can find....but your disclaimer is meaningless...and arrogant.

If I ask someone to leave my house then I expect them to leave, if I ask someone not to call or to refrain from engaging me in conversation or butting in of prior conversations without invitation then I expect them to. If they don't they are simply rude.

Whatever YOU want to say about LJ's friends system and whatever your opinion about it is is irrelevant....being 'freinded' or on someones FL makes an implication that there is some kind of relationship existing that may not. Refusing to take someone of who has asked you to, someone who is in fact asking you to cease implying that YOU have a relationship wiht that person when you do not, is the height of arrogance, especially when it is just as simple for you to bookmark the page or put it in your rss feedand read the public posts at your leisure just as simply.

It' things like this that are exactly the reason why I no longer respect you...you seem to think you live an intellecually exempliary life when in fact you are simply just being rude and selfish.

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[info]natowelch
2007-01-28 05:50 am UTC (link)
I can't say I find this line of argument convincing. I'm disappointed you didn't bother to offer any incentives for compromising with your unusual perspective of what constitutes LJ etiquette. I tried, anyway. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Please stop bothering me in my journal about the content of my reading list. Your allegations about my character and opinions (Exemplary? Who are you kidding?) are unjustified and disrespectful.

If you want me to take you off my reading list, your best bet is to make it not worth reading. As I've been trying to say, it isn't personal.

Not anymore, anyway.

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[info]abracas
2007-01-28 06:39 am UTC (link)
You know...it really doesn't matter to me if someone keeps me ontheir FL or not...not any any real or devastating way anyway. That's not the point here. It is quite simply that you seem to place your intellect and 'integrity' over and and above common social courtesy and empathy. YOu remind me of those annoying 8 year olds who reply to everything with "but why?" Who says you need or deserve an answer?

You don't use filters and the only reason to put someone your FL is let let them read filtered post. As for making my journal less interesting...hmm, let's see...it's been a long time since you've been able to read anything on my journal...even longer since I've had anything to say that I would even consider saying in your presence, so why is it so important to you? There are exactly 2 entries you can see...why are you fighting so hard?
See...I don't care if you freind or defreind me really...that ain't the point I'm trying to make...it's that you claim to really wanna be my friend...you claim to be a smart and moral man with integrity and yet when it comes down to it you coudn't wouldn't do a simple thing that would have absolutely no effect on you but would have made me happy....so common in your life hmmm?

So fucking hard won your fucking integrity, hmm? You have no social garce.

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[info]j3ss
2007-01-29 12:14 am UTC (link)
I added you. But to be fair, I'm adding Nato, too.

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[info]ex_borodin321
2007-01-29 01:20 am UTC (link)
...you seem to place your intellect and 'integrity' over and and above common social courtesy and empathy...You have no social garce [sic].

You do realize you're on the internet, right? Courtesy, empathy, and grace are norms of face-to-face interaction, not features of life you should expect on Livejournal. This is fantasy land. If you want to make polite requests that are obliged in turn go help your parents with the groceries.

This is an interactive video-game, not a gentlman's club. You might just as well express your disdain for the behaviour of the boss on level 5. If you don't like how the internet game treats you, stop playing. Isn't it that simple?

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[info]natowelch
2007-01-29 02:13 am UTC (link)
In case you weren't aware, I banned him from replying here. If you expect him to respond, you will need to look in his journal.

Thanks for the support - and the perspective.

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This is not a house
[info]themusicgod1
2007-01-28 06:32 am UTC (link)
This site is a collection of information, a house is a physical place. I can hurt you in your house, or break your material possessions. There's some vital context missing in your analogy.

"being 'freinded' or on someones FL makes an implication that there is some kind of relationship existing that may not."

Chimeras, this implication only exists if you, (and perhaps the NSA and other springgraphers) want it to.

In fact, consider yourself friended for your arrogance.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: This is not a house
[info]abracas
2007-01-28 06:45 am UTC (link)
No..it's not....

however...arrogant I may be...I at least have the social grace to treat people requests with dignity and empathy..until they step ver the line.

I have nothing to say to him...he has nothing to say I wanna hear...

I have posted nothing that he could read for almost six months now and don't plan on changing that....

in a way...it was a test, to see if he had grown some heart or compassion...now I see that he's as lost in his 'moral dilemma's' as ever...

He came over to our house once...our busy house where we live and try to raise our three children...after a few days we dropped some subtle "go home now" hints...not to be mean, ya know...it was just disruptive having three extra bodies camped out in our small place after awhile...a week later they eventually left...to me...that says it all about Nato...


BTW..I Friended you about a year ago cause you looked interesting...I think I took you off the list after six months when you dind't respond

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
speaking of heart & compassion...
[info]kittybean
2007-01-28 08:38 pm UTC (link)
heavens, steve, i often wonder if you even read what you write. king of contradiction, always pointing fingers. sometimes i swear you even make things up out of thin air because martyrdom feels good. does it make your heart swell to be so self righteous? does it make your soul sing to bring up irrelevant half-truths to make your horse just a little higher? your exaggerated accusations of an overstayed welcome bring to mind nothing but what i now find to be insincerity & lack of communication on your part. instead of simply asking us to leave, you 'dropped hints' while also implying that we should make ourselves comfortable. you felt it a simpler solution to clam up & use the information as a reason for dislike. you communicate in mixed messages & innuendo. this, to me, says it all about you. ♥

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[info]ex_borodin321
2007-01-28 10:39 pm UTC (link)
I can't help but wonder how is it that Nato's opinion on the FL is irrelevant while yours is not?

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[info]kittybean
2007-01-28 11:03 pm UTC (link)
zing!

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Who is Nato?
[info]saintjudas
2007-01-28 09:33 am UTC (link)
Who is Nato?

And, who are you?

Man, this is an aged message as well... You probably had to dig a bit to get to it...

Might as well read up on you, and try to figure out who nato is, cause it ain't me...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: Who is Nato?
[info]natowelch
2007-01-28 09:51 am UTC (link)
Nato would be me. I'm afraid you've stumbled on some drama I wasn't expecting. It doesn't involve you at all, so don't worry about it, unless you're into that sort of thing. You just happened to have been the only comment on that post for many months, and kfxstudios decided to use that as his jumping off point.

Your original post was on my disclaimer, which was post-dated so that it would always appear at the top of my journal. I've archived the flame thread and replaced it with a new one though.

You're welcome to poke around wherever. Carry on!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: Who is Nato?
[info]scarletdog
2007-01-28 06:30 pm UTC (link)
I'm confused.

If I friend someone I only have access to private posts if they friend me back.

Correct?

If I really want you off I can go beg for help from the lj powes that be and ban you from my journal.

Correct?

If that is the case what is the fucking problem?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: Who is Nato?
[info]natowelch
2007-01-28 08:03 pm UTC (link)
To the first question: correct.

Banning would remove the ability to make logged-in comments, but anonymous comments is a separate control, which is also available.

This is the whole friend/friend of dichotomy. LJ staff has a clear policy that says a user's friends list is the user's domain. They will not take action based solely on an appearance on someone else's flist.

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=139&q=friends+list&lang=

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Re: Who is Nato?
[info]scarletdog
2007-01-28 08:11 pm UTC (link)
Reasonable. So, is this person just having a 'moment' then?

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Re: Who is Nato?
[info]kittybean
2007-01-28 08:29 pm UTC (link)
yes. moment after moment after moment.

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[info]ex_borodin321
2007-01-28 10:27 pm UTC (link)
I've just added you to my friends list.

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[info]kittybean
2007-01-28 10:40 pm UTC (link)
HIGH FUCKING 5!!!

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